“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
“Having the opportunity to front the media every week and whinge so virtuously has been more than just a job for me, it’s my passion"
“I didn’t see one Mexican get past it the whole time, not one, those guys really know what they’re doing”
“You might think that annoying people makes them less likely to vote for your candidate, but you’d definitely be wrong”
“I admit I may have a slight flaw with my hair growing technique, but to say I’m bald is totally unfair”
Winx’s trainer and close personal friend, Chris Waller wasn’t surprised that the touching finale to her career left the record-breaker lost for words.
Popular umpire, Ray Chamberlain, is one who thinks the change in policy is well overdue. “I’ve always been the type to own it when I get a call wrong, and really appreciate it when players point out a howler".
Foxtel's data indicates that more than 30 million Australians have subscribed to the service in the last three weeks.
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.
A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
“He’s really proud of how he’s protected Australia from the dangerous children who pose such a threat to our way of life”
"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”