Friday, March 22, 2019
Toilets Closed For Cleaning

2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once

“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”
Audi Small Penis

Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji

“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Tailgating

Report: Tailgating Gets You To Your Horrible Job 1.2 Seconds Faster

A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.

Girl With Name Spelt ‘Siobhan’ Claims It’s Pronounced ‘Jessica’

A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.
Food Too Hot

Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
I Stopped These

Peter Dutton’s ‘I Stopped These’ Trophy Even More Disturbing Than PM’s

“He’s really proud of how he’s protected Australia from the dangerous children who pose such a threat to our way of life”