Trump Wins ‘Mother Of All Wars’ With Devastating Use Of Caps Lock
The tweet is understood to have completely obliterated Iran’s Twitter infrastructure, neutralising their ability to retaliate.
Trump Claims It Was Opposite Day
“As you know, because it was opposite day, I meant the opposite of everything I said, so clearly I meant that ‘I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t be Russia’ not would”
Report: 95% Of People Score In Top 2% Of Online IQ Test
"It's almost definitely not because our company earns money based on how many people take the test, and that most people would only share their results and encourage their friends to take it if they've performed well"
Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning
“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”
Optus CEO To Become New NBN Boss After Handling Of World Cup Streaming
“It’s a little disappointing he hasn’t found a way to blame the issues on Labor yet, but we’re confident his best work is still to come”
Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life
"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"