‘This Is My 12th Beer’ Says School Leaver On His 3rd Beer

A local school leaver has taken his exaggeration about how much alcohol he drinks to new heights today, as he tries to impress his fellow schoolies.

With no one apparently interested enough to ask him directly, Tom, or ‘Big Thommo’ if he could convince anyone to call him that, decided to subtly direct the conversation to where he could start hyperbolising.

“How many drinks have you had?” Tom asked a mate by the name of Will, who just grabbed a VB.

“Uh, this is my second” Will replied.

“Ah yeah, this is my twelfth” said Tom proudly, despite knowing he’d just cracked open his third beer for the day, with the first two having more than an acceptable amount of ‘dregs’ left in them.

“What? What are you talking about? We only started drinking an hour ago” interjected Will.

“Wait. One, two, three, four…” said Tom, while pretending to count the number of drinks he’d had on his fingers, before reaching confirmation that he’d definitely had twelve, a method of proof that would surely hold up in a court of law.

“Yeah twelve. I had a few in the shower.

“Beer’s just like water to me these days, it barely touches me” Tom continued smugly.

“I’m going to have to start doing shots if I want to actually get drunk”.