Boomer Spends Hours Complaining To Internet Company For Wasting His Time
A former small business owner has unleashed a tirade of abuse on his internet provider, due to what appears to have been a fairly minor inconvenience.
Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime
"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Investigation Finds Drone Fishing Chair Still Safer Than Tiger Air
“While that’s not exactly a high standard, seriously mate, did you see that guy? What a bloody mad dog!"
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Sport
‘Extras’ Being Groomed To Take Over As England’s Test Captain
Following a highly embarrassing 4-0 loss to Australia in The Ashes, pressure is mounting on Joe Root to step down as England's Test captain.
English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean
After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart
"The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions"
Clarko To Stop Coaching Hawthorn So He Can Focus On Running The AFL
It’s been reported that Clarko wants to spend more time on his other job, which is managing the league as a whole.
News
Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.
6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once
“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”