Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart

After another collapse from the English cricket team has resulted in the first test ending a day and a half early, Foxtel has promised to continue broadcasting Shane Warne voicing his many criticisms.

“The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions” a Foxtel executive told Seems Legit.

Following weeks of Warne demanding that Mitchell Starc be replaced in the Test side by pretty much any Australian who has ever rolled the arm over, he piped up on the very first ball after Starc took an amazing wicket to open the Ashes.

“Burns must be filthy to be out off that half volley” commented Warne.

“I’ve seen 4th grade tailenders who would have clipped that over the fence. It didn’t swing at all” continued Warney about the historic delivery that swung enormously to rattle the stumps.

“I’ve got no problem with Mitchell Starc.

“In fact, I think it’s really good for his confidence that he could serve up complete trash and still get a wicket.

“All I’m saying is, my mate sent me a clip of his 60-year-old uncle taking a couple of backyard wickets yesterday, and I’m confident the Australian side would be much better off with him instead of this muppet”.

When it was later announced that Hobart was going to host the 5th Test, the legendary leg spinner decided to again give viewers a rare insight into his thoughts.

“I’m not having a go, I love Hobart and the toothless yobbos who live there, I just reckon that they don’t deserve a test match, or recognition as being part of Australia if I’m honest.

“How many does that ground hold? One thousand? Two thousand?

“Compare a couple of thousand bogans from Tassie that are probably too stupid to even spell cricket, against half a million heroic Victorians at the MCG.

“So what if we already have the Boxing Day test, perhaps it’s time to look at holding all test matches in Victoria”.