Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run
Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World
Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises
“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser
“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.
Busy Man Has Spoonful Of Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch
Despite often eating cereal as a snack or quick dinner during the 6 hours of Netflix he puts in after work most nights, the seconds saved getting started early are apparently critical.