Friday, December 5, 2025

Man Unsure Whether He Really Needs To ‘Safely Eject USB’ Or Can Just Yank...

“I’ve seen other people be so cavalier with their USB drives, and they never seem to have any problems”

Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party

 “He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
George R.R. Martin

George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter

“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Top Bloke Butcher

Top Bloke Butcher Wipes Off Cost For Extra 13 Grams Of Ham

A supermarket butcher has been a bright spark in the otherwise depressing life of Andy (37) after not charging him for a very small amount of extra meat with his order.
Drilling Noise

Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.
Food Too Hot

Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.