Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Woman Fails To Carry Full Carload Of Groceries To The Kitchen In One Trip
It appears that father time is finally catching up with 33-year-old, Melanie, after an unsuccessful attempt to bring in all of her shopping with a single effort.
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies
A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”