Guy Flees Party To Escape Awkwardness Of Waiting In Line To Greet Birthday Girl
“I couldn’t see anyone else I knew, so greeting Jane was the only available choice"
Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Cows Who Humans Eat And Wear The Skin Of Blamed For Climate Change
A report has revealed that cows are now being blamed for the climate change that is destroying our planet, due to the methane gas they release.
Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End
“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"
6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Milo 4.5 Health Star Rating Assumes Sprinkling It On Salad
“It’s obviously only meant to be consumed in very small portions as a salad dressing, and I think you’ll find it’s much lower in fat than most alternatives"