Tuesday, January 27, 2026
Burning Nike Shoes

Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For

"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Mum Plastic Bag Ban

Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life

"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"
Tailgating

Report: Tailgating Gets You To Your Horrible Job 1.2 Seconds Faster

A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.
New Neighbour

New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday

“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.
Flossing

Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime

"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”