‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser
“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.
Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning
“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”
Borderline Acquaintances Trying Equally Hard To Pretend They Didn’t Recognise Each Other
“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”
Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For
"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday
“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.