Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future
‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps
The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.
Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises
“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”