Tuesday, March 3, 2026
Burning Nike Shoes

Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For

"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Mum Plastic Bag Ban

Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life

"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"

Woman Wearing Fake Engagement Ring To Deter Creeps Successfully Deters Ethical Single Men

Growing weary of the numerous men flirting with her, Tash (26) has taken some sage advice from a friend, and started wearing a phoney engagement ring.
Food Too Hot

Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.