Wednesday, February 4, 2026
George R.R. Martin

George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter

“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"

Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies

A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.
Toilets Closed For Cleaning

2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once

“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”
Psychic Unsure

Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future

‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.

Confused Man Frames Rare Roast Beef Bought From Supermarket, Believing It Will Rise In...

An idiotic South Australian man named Derek, has recently had a small portion of rare roast beef framed in glass to ‘maximise profits’.

Woman Fails To Carry Full Carload Of Groceries To The Kitchen In One Trip

It appears that father time is finally catching up with 33-year-old, Melanie, after an unsuccessful attempt to bring in all of her shopping with a single effort.