Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Borderline Acquaintances Trying Equally Hard To Pretend They Didn’t Recognise Each Other
“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”
Busy Man Has Spoonful Of Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch
Despite often eating cereal as a snack or quick dinner during the 6 hours of Netflix he puts in after work most nights, the seconds saved getting started early are apparently critical.
Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Report: Tailgating Gets You To Your Horrible Job 1.2 Seconds Faster
A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.
Confused Man Frames Rare Roast Beef Bought From Supermarket, Believing It Will Rise In...
An idiotic South Australian man named Derek, has recently had a small portion of rare roast beef framed in glass to ‘maximise profits’.