Tuesday, December 9, 2025
School Leaver

‘This Is My 12th Beer’ Says School Leaver On His 3rd Beer

"Beer's just like water to me these days, it barely touches me"
Boeing CEO

Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End

“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Tailgating

Report: Tailgating Gets You To Your Horrible Job 1.2 Seconds Faster

A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”