Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once
“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”
Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
Top Bloke Butcher Wipes Off Cost For Extra 13 Grams Of Ham
A supermarket butcher has been a bright spark in the otherwise depressing life of Andy (37) after not charging him for a very small amount of extra meat with his order.
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.