George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run
Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.
Optus CEO To Become New NBN Boss After Handling Of World Cup Streaming
“It’s a little disappointing he hasn’t found a way to blame the issues on Labor yet, but we’re confident his best work is still to come”
Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End
“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"