A local office worker has dealt a savage blow to cancer by contributing more than $2 to the Biggest Morning Tea.
“Gotta do our bit for the kids” the 34-year-old Jarrod was also heard saying before tucking into a huge plate of party pies and mini sausage rolls.
Despite officially requiring at least a gold coin donation to participate in the morning tea his office provided, Jarrod paid purely in the borderline worthless silver coins he’d accumulated on his desk.
“Cop that cancer” said Jarrod while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket as the receptionist holding it tried to avoid eye contact.
“That’s worth even more than the biggest gold coin donation, if you don’t mind” he continued with a sly wink, even though he reportedly had several gold coins in his desk drawer.
A colleague of Jarrod’s told Seems Legit that the big unit managed to consume an entire $7 packet’s worth of spring rolls by himself, as well as being sure to sample every non-fruit item on offer so that he could ‘get the full Biggest Morning Tea experience’.
“He certainly got his money’s worth” said Jarrod’s co-worker.
“And the bloke still managed to polish off two double-meat burritos at lunch, you almost have to admire that level of gluttony.
“For an event about fighting a disease that causes people to waste away, it’s fair to say he’s not in any danger of that”.
Later in the day, the office also sold tickets for a raffle to increase the funds raised for the Cancer Council.
While Jarrod initially showed some interest, he decided against entering after seeing the number of colleagues shelling out their cash.
“I reckon at least 70 tickets were sold, so the odds of winning made it a terrible investment to spend 5 bucks for a chance at a $300 voucher, you’d have to be a f**king idiot to buy one” he said, showcasing his charitable spirit.
While the Biggest Morning Tea website states the direct impact certain dollar amounts can have, such as $155 providing ‘transport and a night’s stay at a local Cancer Council Lodge for people who need to travel for vital cancer treatment’ they’re yet to list the particular impact of a donation in the generous $2.35 range.