Saturday, March 15, 2025
Carlton Fan

Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic

“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
Wasted Beer

AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players

"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
Warney

Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart

"The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions"
Ross Lyon

Ross Lyon Claims The 158-25 Score Flattered Geelong

"We had a couple of 50/50 calls go against us early in the second quarter. If they’re called our way, who knows?"
Footballroos

World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos

“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”