World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos
“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”
GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow
“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective
“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
AFL Throws Support Behind Controversial Goal Review Umpire
The AFL is standing by goal review official, Ray Charles, who is believed to have made the highly criticised call of ‘behind’ during Richmond’s win over St Kilda
Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer
“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
Remainder Of Ashes To Be Decided By Test Match Board Game If Rain Persists
"We're confident it will still be a very exciting contest" said a spokesperson for the English Cricket Board.