GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow
“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
Brad Scott Emotional About Last Chance To Whinge In Press Conference
“Having the opportunity to front the media every week and whinge so virtuously has been more than just a job for me, it’s my passion"
Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer
“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals
“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”
Remainder Of Ashes To Be Decided By Test Match Board Game If Rain Persists
"We're confident it will still be a very exciting contest" said a spokesperson for the English Cricket Board.
Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets
“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"