Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume
"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart
"The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions"
Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic
“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow
“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances
“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
Ross Lyon Claims The 158-25 Score Flattered Geelong
"We had a couple of 50/50 calls go against us early in the second quarter. If they’re called our way, who knows?"