Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic
“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer
“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets
“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"
Clarko Meets Gil For Coffee After Only Getting Eight 50m Penalties Against Port
“The umpires have to realise it’s a critical part of how we move the ball forward”
Robert Walls Stands By Claim That Eagles Will Win The Wooden Spoon
Despite sitting on top of the ladder with 8 wins from 9 games, AFL legend and part time fortune teller, Robert Walls hasn’t backed down from his pre-season prediction that the West Coast Eagles will finish last in 2018.
AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players
"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"