Saturday, February 21, 2026
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
Ticketek Apologises

Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets

“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"
Test Match Board Game

Remainder Of Ashes To Be Decided By Test Match Board Game If Rain Persists

"We're confident it will still be a very exciting contest" said a spokesperson for the English Cricket Board.
Wasted Beer

AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players

"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"
Winx

Retiring Winx Too Emotional For Post-Race Interview

Winx’s trainer and close personal friend, Chris Waller wasn’t surprised that the touching finale to her career left the record-breaker lost for words.

AFL Umpires To Utilise Helpful Player Feedback For Reversing Incorrect Decisions

Popular umpire, Ray Chamberlain, is one who thinks the change in policy is well overdue. “I’ve always been the type to own it when I get a call wrong, and really appreciate it when players point out a howler".