Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective
“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets
“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"
AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players
"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"
Gary Ablett Objects To Being Labelled As ‘Bald’
“I admit I may have a slight flaw with my hair growing technique, but to say I’m bald is totally unfair”
AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions
“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership
"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"