Ross Lyon Claims The 158-25 Score Flattered Geelong
"We had a couple of 50/50 calls go against us early in the second quarter. If they’re called our way, who knows?"
Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership
"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"
Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances
“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume
"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals
“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”
Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective
“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”