Wednesday, September 23, 2020
Robert Walls Eagles Wooden Spoon

Robert Walls Stands By Claim That Eagles Will Win The Wooden Spoon

Despite sitting on top of the ladder with 8 wins from 9 games, AFL legend and part time fortune teller, Robert Walls hasn’t backed down from his pre-season prediction that the West Coast Eagles will finish last in 2018.
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Mute Basil Zempilas

Fox Footy Launches Press Red To Mute Basil Zempilas Feature

Foxtel subscribers will now have the option to mute Basil Zempilas commentary during any AFL game he broadcasts.

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
Luke Hodge

Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership

"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"
David King

David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals

“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”