Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
Alastair Clarkson Gillon McLachlan Coffee

Clarko Meets Gil For Coffee After Only Getting Eight 50m Penalties Against Port

“The umpires have to realise it’s a critical part of how we move the ball forward”
Marnus Lasagne

Lasagne Adopted As Australia’s National Dish In Tribute To Marnus

After another delicious display from Marnus Labuschagne in the third Ashes test, Australia has officially made lasagne our national dish to honour the great man.
Wasted Beer

AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players

"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Goal Review Umpire

AFL Throws Support Behind Controversial Goal Review Umpire

The AFL is standing by goal review official, Ray Charles, who is believed to have made the highly criticised call of ‘behind’ during Richmond’s win over St Kilda