Tuesday, March 3, 2026
Luke Hodge

Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership

"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Rance Diving

Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective

“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Extras

‘Extras’ Being Groomed To Take Over As England’s Test Captain

Following a highly embarrassing 4-0 loss to Australia in The Ashes, pressure is mounting on Joe Root to step down as England's Test captain. 

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”