Monday, February 9, 2026
Gary Ablett Bald

Gary Ablett Objects To Being Labelled As ‘Bald’

“I admit I may have a slight flaw with my hair growing technique, but to say I’m bald is totally unfair”
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Footballroos

World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos

“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”
Goal Review Umpire

AFL Throws Support Behind Controversial Goal Review Umpire

The AFL is standing by goal review official, Ray Charles, who is believed to have made the highly criticised call of ‘behind’ during Richmond’s win over St Kilda
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
David King

David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals

“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”