Sunday, March 8, 2026
Rance Diving

Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective

“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
Jeremy Cameron Elbow

GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow

“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
Marnus Lasagne

Lasagne Adopted As Australia’s National Dish In Tribute To Marnus

After another delicious display from Marnus Labuschagne in the third Ashes test, Australia has officially made lasagne our national dish to honour the great man.
Brad Scott Emotional

Brad Scott Emotional About Last Chance To Whinge In Press Conference

“Having the opportunity to front the media every week and whinge so virtuously has been more than just a job for me, it’s my passion"
Jack Watts Snorting Powder

Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances

“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
Ticketek Apologises

Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets

“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"