AFL To Throw Book At Fan Who ‘Wasted Beer’ Thrown At Essendon Players
"To waste precious beer in this era of resource shortages is absolutely disgusting! You realise the Amazon rainforest is burning right?"
David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals
“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”
GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow
“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean
After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic
“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership
"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"