Saturday, January 24, 2026
Jack Watts Snorting Powder

Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances

“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
Robert Walls Eagles Wooden Spoon

Robert Walls Stands By Claim That Eagles Will Win The Wooden Spoon

Despite sitting on top of the ladder with 8 wins from 9 games, AFL legend and part time fortune teller, Robert Walls hasn’t backed down from his pre-season prediction that the West Coast Eagles will finish last in 2018.
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
AFL Live Ladder

Channel 7 Shows AFL Live Ladder After First Point Scored

"It turns out that spamming viewers with a Live Ladder every two minutes and blocking out a chunk of the screen takes it to a whole new level"

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”

AFL Umpires To Utilise Helpful Player Feedback For Reversing Incorrect Decisions

Popular umpire, Ray Chamberlain, is one who thinks the change in policy is well overdue. “I’ve always been the type to own it when I get a call wrong, and really appreciate it when players point out a howler".