Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective
“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
Clarko Meets Gil For Coffee After Only Getting Eight 50m Penalties Against Port
“The umpires have to realise it’s a critical part of how we move the ball forward”
Channel 7 Shows AFL Live Ladder After First Point Scored
"It turns out that spamming viewers with a Live Ladder every two minutes and blocking out a chunk of the screen takes it to a whole new level"
AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions
“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer
“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow
“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”