Tuesday, March 3, 2026
Footballroos

World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos

“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Jack Watts Snorting Powder

Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances

“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"
Carlton Fan

Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic

“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
Goal Review Umpire

AFL Throws Support Behind Controversial Goal Review Umpire

The AFL is standing by goal review official, Ray Charles, who is believed to have made the highly criticised call of ‘behind’ during Richmond’s win over St Kilda