Wednesday, March 25, 2026
David King

David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals

“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”
Footballroos

World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos

“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Warney

Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart

"The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions"
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”