Sunday, April 19, 2026
Luke Hodge

Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership

"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"
Jack Watts Snorting Powder

Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances

“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
Extras

‘Extras’ Being Groomed To Take Over As England’s Test Captain

Following a highly embarrassing 4-0 loss to Australia in The Ashes, pressure is mounting on Joe Root to step down as England's Test captain. 
Robert Walls Eagles Wooden Spoon

Robert Walls Stands By Claim That Eagles Will Win The Wooden Spoon

Despite sitting on top of the ladder with 8 wins from 9 games, AFL legend and part time fortune teller, Robert Walls hasn’t backed down from his pre-season prediction that the West Coast Eagles will finish last in 2018.
Rance Diving

Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective

“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
ARC

AFL Admits ARC Bunker Built To Hide Goal Reviewers After Bad Decisions

“We’re not so much trying to make the right calls during games, ARC was built to allow the muppets we employ for score reviews to hide after a terrible decision"