Tuesday, February 17, 2026
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
Ticketek Apologises

Ticketek Apologises In Advance For Issues Buying Grand Final Tickets

“The horrible service we deliver allows us to keep the handling fee for printing out your own ticket under $10"
Marnus Lasagne

Lasagne Adopted As Australia’s National Dish In Tribute To Marnus

After another delicious display from Marnus Labuschagne in the third Ashes test, Australia has officially made lasagne our national dish to honour the great man.
Extras

‘Extras’ Being Groomed To Take Over As England’s Test Captain

Following a highly embarrassing 4-0 loss to Australia in The Ashes, pressure is mounting on Joe Root to step down as England's Test captain. 
David King

David King Reveals Total Score As Critical KPI For Winning Grand Finals

“We’ve been working overtime in The Lab, and even summoned some analysis from The War Room to deliver this exclusive”
Robert Walls Eagles Wooden Spoon

Robert Walls Stands By Claim That Eagles Will Win The Wooden Spoon

Despite sitting on top of the ladder with 8 wins from 9 games, AFL legend and part time fortune teller, Robert Walls hasn’t backed down from his pre-season prediction that the West Coast Eagles will finish last in 2018.