Monday, September 1, 2025

Footy Fan Makes Up For Lack Of Wit With Increased Volume

"Eddie McGuire and the Channel 9 execs reckon I’m producing just the sort of cutting edge comedy that would suit The Footy Show”
Luke Hodge

Fans Devastated Luke Hodge Has Retired Without Winning Elusive 5th Premiership

"People throw around the word tragedy a bit too easily these days, but it feels like an understatement today"
Clarko

Clarko To Stop Coaching Hawthorn So He Can Focus On Running The AFL

It’s been reported that Clarko wants to spend more time on his other job, which is managing the league as a whole.
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Ross Lyon

Ross Lyon Claims The 158-25 Score Flattered Geelong

"We had a couple of 50/50 calls go against us early in the second quarter. If they’re called our way, who knows?"