Wednesday, September 23, 2020
Ross Lyon

Ross Lyon Claims The 158-25 Score Flattered Geelong

"We had a couple of 50/50 calls go against us early in the second quarter. If they’re called our way, who knows?"
Carlton Fan

Carlton Fan Stays Until Final Siren To Avoid Traffic

“After the final siren sounds, I’m able to leisurely waltz out of there feeling recharged and ready to pretend football doesn’t exist for another week"
Australia Doesn't Like Soccer

Entire Country Suddenly Realises It Doesn’t Actually Like Soccer

“Toughen up and play a real sport mate, soccer is for soft pansy wankers”

World Cup Purist Struggles To Explain Why Aussie ‘Football’ Team Called Socceroos

“The sport is football. Real fans know them as the Footballroos”
Jeremy Cameron Elbow

GWS Fuming Over Vicious Headbutt To Jeremy Cameron’s Elbow

“As you can see in the replay, Jeremy is just trying to compete in a marking contest, when Harris Andrews, who isn’t even facing the ball, headbutts him right in the elbow”
Rance Diving

Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective

“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”