Thursday, March 28, 2024
Warney

Final Day Of First Test’s Telecast Just Warney Abusing Starc And Hobart

"The early finish has allowed us to give Warney a platform for his objective opinions"
Alastair Clarkson Gillon McLachlan Coffee

Clarko Meets Gil For Coffee After Only Getting Eight 50m Penalties Against Port

“The umpires have to realise it’s a critical part of how we move the ball forward”
Jack Watts Snorting Powder

Manager Disputes Claim Of ‘AFL Star’ Snorting Illicit Substances

“Everyone knows that Jack bloody hates cocaine, even if he does happen to enjoy the smell of the stuff”
English Cricket

English Cricket Team To Take TAFE Course On What Those White Lines Mean

After taking a number of Australian wickets only to have them disallowed due to front foot no balls, England's team will attend an introduction to cricket seminar.
Rance Diving

Rance Relieved World Cup Puts His Diving Into Perspective

“It’s like I’m an extra on Home and Away and they’re all Robert De Niro”
Winx

Retiring Winx Too Emotional For Post-Race Interview

Winx’s trainer and close personal friend, Chris Waller wasn’t surprised that the touching finale to her career left the record-breaker lost for words.