Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime
"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Borderline Acquaintances Trying Equally Hard To Pretend They Didn’t Recognise Each Other
“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”
Milo 4.5 Health Star Rating Assumes Sprinkling It On Salad
“It’s obviously only meant to be consumed in very small portions as a salad dressing, and I think you’ll find it’s much lower in fat than most alternatives"
Boomer Spends Hours Complaining To Internet Company For Wasting His Time
A former small business owner has unleashed a tirade of abuse on his internet provider, due to what appears to have been a fairly minor inconvenience.
Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World
Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.