Friday, March 27, 2026
Food Too Hot

Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
Borderline Acquaintances

Borderline Acquaintances Trying Equally Hard To Pretend They Didn’t Recognise Each Other

“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
Boomer Internet

Boomer Spends Hours Complaining To Internet Company For Wasting His Time

A former small business owner has unleashed a tirade of abuse on his internet provider, due to what appears to have been a fairly minor inconvenience.
Zooper Dooper

6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting

“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"