Thursday, March 19, 2026
Burning Nike Shoes

Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For

"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Flossing

Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime

"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Biggest Morning Tea

‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser

“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.
Range Rover

Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps

The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.
Ned Stark

Sportsbet Regrets Paying Out Early On Ned Stark To Sit On Iron Throne

“Look we may have gone a bit soon on that one”
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.