Thursday, December 11, 2025

Guy Flees Party To Escape Awkwardness Of Waiting In Line To Greet Birthday Girl

“I couldn’t see anyone else I knew, so greeting Jane was the only available choice"
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Audi Small Penis

Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji

“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Range Rover

Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps

The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
New Neighbour

New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday

“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.