6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Boomer Spends Hours Complaining To Internet Company For Wasting His Time
A former small business owner has unleashed a tirade of abuse on his internet provider, due to what appears to have been a fairly minor inconvenience.
Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End
“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"
Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises
“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.