Thursday, March 12, 2026
Biggest Morning Tea

‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser

“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Drone Fishing

Investigation Finds Drone Fishing Chair Still Safer Than Tiger Air

“While that’s not exactly a high standard, seriously mate, did you see that guy? What a bloody mad dog!"
Slow Walking Trio

Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World

Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Flossing

Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime

"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Drilling Noise

Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.