Monday, February 2, 2026
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Borderline Acquaintances

Borderline Acquaintances Trying Equally Hard To Pretend They Didn’t Recognise Each Other

“She must have started working around here, I reckon I see her two or three times a week now”

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Exercise To Feel Good

Guy Doing Exercise To Feel Good Is Sore And Tired Every Day

“Just gotta re-train the muscles into getting used to the workout before it gets easier…well that’s what Gunter, my PT says anyway”.
Drilling Noise

Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.