Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies
A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.
Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run
Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Confused Man Frames Rare Roast Beef Bought From Supermarket, Believing It Will Rise In...
An idiotic South Australian man named Derek, has recently had a small portion of rare roast beef framed in glass to ‘maximise profits’.
Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future
‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.
Top Bloke Butcher Wipes Off Cost For Extra 13 Grams Of Ham
A supermarket butcher has been a bright spark in the otherwise depressing life of Andy (37) after not charging him for a very small amount of extra meat with his order.