Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"
6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Man Unsure Whether He Really Needs To ‘Safely Eject USB’ Or Can Just Yank...
“I’ve seen other people be so cavalier with their USB drives, and they never seem to have any problems”
Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime
"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser
“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.
New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday
“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.