Wednesday, January 7, 2026
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Back Hair

Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning

“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”

Woman Wearing Fake Engagement Ring To Deter Creeps Successfully Deters Ethical Single Men

Growing weary of the numerous men flirting with her, Tash (26) has taken some sage advice from a friend, and started wearing a phoney engagement ring.

Girl With Name Spelt ‘Siobhan’ Claims It’s Pronounced ‘Jessica’

A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.