Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps
The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.
Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji
“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis"