Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once
“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”
Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future
‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.
Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps
The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.
Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning
“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"