6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run
Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life
"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"
Guy Flees Party To Escape Awkwardness Of Waiting In Line To Greet Birthday Girl
“I couldn’t see anyone else I knew, so greeting Jane was the only available choice"