Friday, November 21, 2025
New Neighbour

New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday

“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Biggest Morning Tea

‘You’re Welcome Kids’ Says Man Who Donated $2.35 To Biggest Morning Tea Fundraiser

“Cop that cancer” he was also heard saying while dumping his shrapnel collection into a donation bucket.

Man Unsure Whether He Really Needs To ‘Safely Eject USB’ Or Can Just Yank...

“I’ve seen other people be so cavalier with their USB drives, and they never seem to have any problems”

Woman Wearing Fake Engagement Ring To Deter Creeps Successfully Deters Ethical Single Men

Growing weary of the numerous men flirting with her, Tash (26) has taken some sage advice from a friend, and started wearing a phoney engagement ring.

Girl With Name Spelt ‘Siobhan’ Claims It’s Pronounced ‘Jessica’

A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.