Monday, January 19, 2026
Zooper Dooper

6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting

“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"

Girl With Name Spelt ‘Siobhan’ Claims It’s Pronounced ‘Jessica’

A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.
New Neighbour

New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday

“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.
Exercise To Feel Good

Guy Doing Exercise To Feel Good Is Sore And Tired Every Day

“Just gotta re-train the muscles into getting used to the workout before it gets easier…well that’s what Gunter, my PT says anyway”.

Confused Man Frames Rare Roast Beef Bought From Supermarket, Believing It Will Rise In...

An idiotic South Australian man named Derek, has recently had a small portion of rare roast beef framed in glass to ‘maximise profits’.
Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch

Busy Man Has Spoonful Of Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch

Despite often eating cereal as a snack or quick dinner during the 6 hours of Netflix he puts in after work most nights, the seconds saved getting started early are apparently critical.