Thursday, March 5, 2026
Burning Nike Shoes

Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For

"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Mum Plastic Bag Ban

Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life

"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"

Man Unsure Whether He Really Needs To ‘Safely Eject USB’ Or Can Just Yank...

“I’ve seen other people be so cavalier with their USB drives, and they never seem to have any problems”
Drone Fishing

Investigation Finds Drone Fishing Chair Still Safer Than Tiger Air

“While that’s not exactly a high standard, seriously mate, did you see that guy? What a bloody mad dog!"
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”

Confused Man Frames Rare Roast Beef Bought From Supermarket, Believing It Will Rise In...

An idiotic South Australian man named Derek, has recently had a small portion of rare roast beef framed in glass to ‘maximise profits’.