Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World
Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Manager Says A-sap Because Pronouncing A.S.A.P. Wastes Time He Can’t Afford
A very busy and important manager for an architectural agency, has recently begun using the term ‘A-sap’ when making an urgent request.
6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning
“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”
Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future
‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.