Monday, March 30, 2026
Zooper Dooper

6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting

“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
New Neighbour

New Neighbour Ingratiates Himself By Moving In At 5am On Sunday

“I really appreciate it” said Stephanie, a surgeon who lives next door and will now be working off four hours less sleep as she attempts to save lives today.
Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch

Busy Man Has Spoonful Of Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch

Despite often eating cereal as a snack or quick dinner during the 6 hours of Netflix he puts in after work most nights, the seconds saved getting started early are apparently critical.
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Slow Walking Trio

Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World

Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Ned Stark

Sportsbet Regrets Paying Out Early On Ned Stark To Sit On Iron Throne

“Look we may have gone a bit soon on that one”