Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Man Begins Eating Curry Lunch In Crowded Three Floor Elevator
An IT worker began eating his takeaway container of lamb vindaloo and rice during what turned out to be an eighteen second elevator ride to the third level of his office building, it has emerged.
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Milo 4.5 Health Star Rating Assumes Sprinkling It On Salad
“It’s obviously only meant to be consumed in very small portions as a salad dressing, and I think you’ll find it’s much lower in fat than most alternatives"
Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run
Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
2 Office Cleaners Somehow Close Off Toilets On All 3 Floors At Once
“Yeah, there’s really not much to do when it gets cleaned every day so we do like to mess with them a bit”