Saturday, February 14, 2026
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Cows Climate Change

Cows Who Humans Eat And Wear The Skin Of Blamed For Climate Change

A report has revealed that cows are now being blamed for the climate change that is destroying our planet, due to the methane gas they release.
Game Of Thrones

Foxtel Confident People On Second Free Trial For Game Of Thrones Will End Up...

Foxtel's data indicates that more than 30 million Australians have subscribed to the service in the last three weeks.

Milo 4.5 Health Star Rating Assumes Sprinkling It On Salad

“It’s obviously only meant to be consumed in very small portions as a salad dressing, and I think you’ll find it’s much lower in fat than most alternatives"
Slow Walking Trio

Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World

Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Cockroach Flamethrower

Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...

A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.