Flamethrower Licenses Approved If Citizens Confirm They Thought They Saw A Cockroach Crawl Under...
A law has recently been passed to allow all Australians important access to flamethrowers and other ‘tools’ if they believe they might have seen a cockroach inside their home.
Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign
"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
Report: Tailgating Gets You To Your Horrible Job 1.2 Seconds Faster
A recent study has found that tailgating can get you to work more than a full second faster than driving normally.
Busy Man Has Spoonful Of Cereal On Trip From Kitchen To Couch
Despite often eating cereal as a snack or quick dinner during the 6 hours of Netflix he puts in after work most nights, the seconds saved getting started early are apparently critical.
Investigation Finds Drone Fishing Chair Still Safer Than Tiger Air
“While that’s not exactly a high standard, seriously mate, did you see that guy? What a bloody mad dog!"
Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.