6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For
"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"
Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises
“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”
Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End
“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"
Tradie Seems Pretty Unconcerned By Drilling Noise In Busy Office
Witnesses told Seems Legit that he disappeared after about half an hour of drilling with it still being completely unclear what he had achieved.