Sunday, March 22, 2026
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”
No Cash Left On Premises

Burglar Sues Shop Owner For Falsely Claiming There Was No Cash Left On Premises

“Like anyone, thieves need income, so my client scouted out some opportunities for work in the area”

Guy Flees Party To Escape Awkwardness Of Waiting In Line To Greet Birthday Girl

“I couldn’t see anyone else I knew, so greeting Jane was the only available choice"

Manager Says A-sap Because Pronouncing A.S.A.P. Wastes Time He Can’t Afford

A very busy and important manager for an architectural agency, has recently begun using the term ‘A-sap’ when making an urgent request.
Slow Walking Trio

Slow Walking Trio Takes Over Footpath, Set Sights On Rest Of The World

Three co-workers, armed with nothing other than mediocre gossip, have managed to completely block a footpath, preventing humans walking at normal speed from getting past.
Top Bloke Butcher

Top Bloke Butcher Wipes Off Cost For Extra 13 Grams Of Ham

A supermarket butcher has been a bright spark in the otherwise depressing life of Andy (37) after not charging him for a very small amount of extra meat with his order.