Thursday, January 8, 2026

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Council Worker Slow Sign

Rookie Council Worker Foolishly Thinks He’s Ready To Hold A ‘Slow’ Sign

"I’ve been crushing it standing around in hi-vis looking at the bloke using the forklift ay, and I’m regularly breaking the 50% barrier for getting the morning coffee orders right. I’m ready”

Girl With Name Spelt ‘Siobhan’ Claims It’s Pronounced ‘Jessica’

A TAFE student of Irish ancestry has taken exception to the mispronunciation of her name during a lecturer’s roll call, it has emerged.
Food Too Hot

Genius Puts Food Too Hot For Fingers Into Mouth

Witnesses told Seems Legit that he then made a series of awkward screaming noises as he attempted to cool the food with his breath while it was still in his open mouth.
Back Hair

Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning

“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”

Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies

A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.