Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime
"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Annoying Bloke Inches Concerningly Closer To Guitar At House Party
“He was chatting to me about the advantages of rolling his own cigarettes when he caught sight of it. He trailed off and did a double-take…it’s just a matter of time now”.
George R.R. Martin Spotted Umpiring At Wimbledon To Avoid Writing The Winds Of Winter
“He’ll literally do anything to avoid writing the book, and he’s got so much pull around the world that he can make his ridiculous excuses a reality"
Man Begins Eating Curry Lunch In Crowded Three Floor Elevator
An IT worker began eating his takeaway container of lamb vindaloo and rice during what turned out to be an eighteen second elevator ride to the third level of his office building, it has emerged.
Manager Says A-sap Because Pronouncing A.S.A.P. Wastes Time He Can’t Afford
A very busy and important manager for an architectural agency, has recently begun using the term ‘A-sap’ when making an urgent request.
Despite Malfunctions, Boeing Announces Faulty CEO Will Continue Operating Until Year’s End
“Look, I’m not really involved in the plane side of the business"