6 Billion Zooper Dooper Litres Wasted Due To Inefficient Cutting
“The average Australian consumes 14 Zooper Doopers per day. We know those numbers are skewed a bit by one bloke called Ron, but it still highlights the kind of waste that can accumulate over a summer"
Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies
A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.
Man Devastated To Discover His Back Hair Is Thinning
“I used to have a beautiful, lustrous mane on my back, and I guess I just assumed it would last forever”
Manager Says A-sap Because Pronouncing A.S.A.P. Wastes Time He Can’t Afford
A very busy and important manager for an architectural agency, has recently begun using the term ‘A-sap’ when making an urgent request.
Realistic Dentist Recommends Flossing At Least 2-3 Times Per Lifetime
"I realised I barely even floss myself because it’s super annoying so stopped giving my patients such a hard time about it”
Nike Devastated People Are Burning Shoes They Already Paid For
"That's really showed us how barbaric we were in supporting someone who is non-violently protesting against innocent African Americans being killed by police"