A report has revealed that cows are now being blamed for the climate change that is devastating our planet, due to the methane gas they release.
This comes as shocking news to the animals which humans literally eat, wear the skin of, and steal the milk they produce for their babies.
“Those bloody selfish cows, destroying the world” said one big unit named Peter.
“I’m going to double my steak consumption to show ’em this is absolutely not on” he continued angrily.
The issue is essentially caused by stomach problems experienced by cows that result in them burping, and to a lesser extent, farting methane, which traps roughly 30 times more heat than the carbon dioxide produced by cars.
Due to being bred in such enormous numbers for use by humans, livestock account for around 14.5% of global greenhouse gas emissions.
Unfortunately, scientists are suggesting that reducing rather than increasing your beef intake is actually the best step in the fight against climate change.
“Well I’m not going to do that” Peter told Seems Legit.
“The cows are never going to learn that way.
“We’re too good to ’em I reckon, they get to chill out with their mates all day in small spaces until they graduate from bovine university” he continued with such outrage that he spilled his glass of milk on his leather jacket.
Scientists are researching potential options to reduce the impact cows have on climate change through burp-catching masks, introducing seaweed into their diets, and trying to get them to cover up their farts by coughing at the same time, however Peter wasn’t impressed.
“So we’ve got to clean up their mess now do we?
“It’s time they take some bloody responsibility and start fixing this instead of blaming everyone else”.
We tried interviewing several cows at a nearby farm about the distressing news but all of them refused to comment.
It was a united stand that we can only describe as incredibly cowardly.
