Saturday, August 30, 2025

Slow Witted Man Needs To Pause ‘Reading Bits’ In Movies

A night of ‘Netflix and chill’ has gone horribly wrong for Connor (27) after it became apparent he needs to pause the text parts of films because otherwise they disappear before he’s finished reading them.

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.

Milo 4.5 Health Star Rating Assumes Sprinkling It On Salad

“It’s obviously only meant to be consumed in very small portions as a salad dressing, and I think you’ll find it’s much lower in fat than most alternatives"
Psychic Unsure

Psychic Unsure If Her Business Has Much Of A Future

‘Esmeralda the Clairvoyant’ (or Emma Rogers according to her driver’s licence) has been reading tea leaves since before she could drink the beverage they create, but now fears the industry is in decline.
Range Rover

Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps

The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.

Woman Fails To Carry Full Carload Of Groceries To The Kitchen In One Trip

It appears that father time is finally catching up with 33-year-old, Melanie, after an unsuccessful attempt to bring in all of her shopping with a single effort.