Donald Trump has triumphed over Iran with a savage all-caps tweet addressed to their President, Hassan Rouhani.
The tweet is understood to have completely obliterated Iran’s Twitter infrastructure, neutralising their ability to retaliate.
Rouhani is now expected to publicly apologise for ever speaking out against America and pledge fealty to the wise and honourable Trump.
Given that he was holding a cheeseburger with his left hand while tweeting, this has literally been a single-handed victory for the U.S. President.
Rumours that Iran was developing their own caps lock technology appear to have been false, as they were completely unable to withstand the onslaught from Trump’s twitter account.
“We’re still in shock” said a source from within the Iranian government.
“We had no idea he could deliver such a barrage of capital letters.
“Even with our recent advancements, we’ve rarely been able to deliver more than one capital letter per sentence, and now understand that we’re no match for America and its supreme leader”.
In the United States, there has been an flood of appreciation for Trump’s swift and decisive victory.
“Wow he really annihilated Iran with all those caps, it’s made me totally forget about how he supported Putin over America in the Russia summit, and then claimed he meant the opposite” said one proud American.
Trump is said to have been relentless in his search to find any enemy to attack in order to patriotically divert attention away from the Helsinki fiasco.
“I have no reservations about going to war if it’s necessary to cover up my mistakes, believe me” said Trump.
