Audi Drivers Furious About Release Of ‘Tiny Penis’ Emoji

Audi Small Penis


230 new emojis are set to become available on smartphones this year, but it’s been the ‘pinching’ symbol that has created the most controversy, with many claiming it will be used to suggest someone has a small penis.

One group that has voiced their serious concerns about the introduction of the new emoji, has been Audi drivers.

“We’re being unfairly targeted” said Colin, an Audi enthusiast who also owns a boat that hasn’t seen water in 4 years.

“Not that it’s true…if anything, driving an Audi proves you have an enormous penis.

“The salesman assured me of that when I took out blinker fluid insurance for my reasonably priced S5 Schlong Convertible.

“It was a little more than I would have liked to pay, but certainly a significant upgrade from my old A3 Big Knob Sportback”.

Emoji company, Unicode, has revealed that during their public testing, more than 93% of the new symbol’s usage was directed at men who either own or lease an Audi.

Colin has also confirmed that some of his friends from the popular internet forum, have already fallen victim to the emoji.

“Even though it hasn’t been officially released yet, some women are sending screenshots of it.

“Innocent Audi owners have accidentally sent photos to some of their female friends, interns, or Tinder matches, and they’ve been unjustly ridiculed for it.

“Obviously they know it’s just a joke, because they drive Audis and the company says it isn’t possible to do so with a small penis, but it really isn’t funny”.

Additionally, there have been reports that some women are sending the Audi logo instead of the new emoji in response to an unsolicited and unimpressive dick pic.

Audi is hopeful that a series of new TV advertisements showcasing how the company and its supporters are vastly superior to everyone else will ease tensions, particularly given that many of the owners are believed to masturbate furiously while watching them.

Despite the stereotype associated with drivers of the German made vehicles, numerous people have claimed that some of the biggest pricks they’ve ever seen have been in Audis.