Friday, March 29, 2024

Report: Trump Typed LOL When He Wasn’t Actually Laughing Out Loud

Multiple staffers witnessed Mr Trump typing 'LOL' in reply to a text message from a good friend by the name of Vladimir, despite not even cracking a smile.
Range Rover

Range Rover Clocks 5km Per Hour Going Over 30km Speed Bumps

The driver of a luxury 4WD capable of handling savage off-road terrain, recently elected to slow down far more than required to negotiate a series of very minor speed bumps.

Lifetime Of Carbo-loading Prepares Accountant For Charity Run

Excessive consumption of high-carbohydrate foods is the perfect preparation for a half-marathon, it has been confirmed.
Close Contact

New Definition Of ‘Close Contact’ To Exclude Anyone Not Already Craving Human Flesh

"Basically, we let the virus run free in NSW and massively underestimated how bad it would be lol"
Scott Morrison Hawaii

‘It’s Not Like I Was Doing Anything In Australia Anyway’ Scomo Defends Hawaii Trip

"After showing no leadership and taking no action in response to the devastating fires for several weeks, I figured a little trip to some Hawaiian beaches wouldn't make a difference"
Mum Plastic Bag Ban

Mum Has Been Preparing For Plastic Bag Ban Her Entire Life

"They say it can take a thousand years for the environment to break down a plastic bag, but I'm confident my family's supply will last much longer than that"